Blogger Issues

I'm not sure what's going on with my blog for the last couple of days. Last night I attempted like twice to publish my "Angry and Frustrated" post. When I hit the Publish Post button, it was stuck on 0% progress. When I would check my list of posts, it showed up there, but then when I clicked the button to view my blog (which I always do after I publish a post), it wasn't there. I tried for quite a while last night, finally getting frustrated and going to bed. I figured I'd try again to publish it, but then this morning got a comment from Angie on that very post. I'm glad it ended up going through...I just wish I knew what the problem was. Maybe I should try Beta, but I don't know whether that will make a difference or not. Oh well...just something else for me to be frustrated about.

Better Day

Well, even though I am still very frustrated about my job situation, I'm feeling a bit better about it tonight. I had a talk with a couple of people out at the hospital today, and I think there are going to be a couple of different options available. I don't really want to say much more about it right now because it may take a few weeks before I know anything for certain, but I will definitely post an update once I have one.

Angry and Frustrated

I am so frustrated with my employer right now, it's not even funny! I was so excited about this job just a couple of months ago, and now I feel cheated.

A little background:

Most of you who read my blog know that I was a GS employee at the Health Clinic on post for the last three years we lived in Germany. About the beginning of 2006, I started seriously looking for work. By then we were pretty sure we were coming to the Fort Bragg area. A part of me wanted to remain with the GS system, but I also wanted to be open to other options. A colleague of mine gave me the name and contact information for a company here in the States. If I got a job with this company, I would still be affiliated with the Military Health System (which I honestly love) but would be a contractor. There was an opportunity for a nice pay raise. So I contacted the company before we left Germany and had a job lined up, to start shortly after we hit ground in the U.S.

The best part about this job...I get to work mostly from home, going in to Womack when they need me to.

When I got my original offer letter, I was also eligible for benefits. These benefits included health insurance, life insurance, dental insurance, and 401K. Well, for obvious reasons, I didn't really need the health or dental. The life insurance was free of charge for me, paid for by the company. I wasn't eligible to start contributing to the 401K until I had been an employee for 3 months. I contributed to the TSP when I was a GS employee, and planned to roll those funds over into the 401K as soon as I was able to.

I started work after we got back to the States, and everything seemed to be going well. Then I learned that things were changing within the company. I tried not to stress too much, even when I got a new contract that differed significantly from my original one. The Vice President for Human Resources told me to disregard that one, and that I would be getting another one shortly. That was a month ago.

To make a long story short, I found out this evening that the new contract I received a month ago is indeed my new agreement with the company. I am now a contractor instead of an employee of the company. I will now be paid per record coded or audited instead of the salary I was originally offered. You know what the worst part is? The worst part is that as a contract employee, I'm no longer eligible for any benefits. Including the 401K and life insurance. The two that were most important to me. One thing I've learned over the years is that net pay isn't everything. I'd much rather take a cut in take home pay and have certain benefits available to me.

You know what the most interesting thing about this situation is? September was my 3 month mark with the company. Is it just a coincidence that my status is being changed at the time I'm supposed to be eligible for certain benefits? Maybe I shouldn't, but I feel betrayed and blind-sided by the whole situation. Guess I'll be looking for a new job...

Growing up Too Fast...

Today is J.'s birthday. He's 8. I simply can't believe my boy is 8 years old. I remember the day he was born and what a sweet baby he was. He's still a sweet kid, but he's definitely a very active 8 year-old boy.

A couple of days ago he asked P. if he would make him pancakes for breakfast and stick a birthday candle in them. That has sort of become a tradition in our family, and is something special between Daddy and the kids. I advised J. not to get his heart set on it because it was a weekday, and P. usually reserves cooking breakfast for the weekend. But this morning P. got up early, got ready for work, and came down and cooked pancakes, and served J. his with a candle. So we sang him Happy Birthday and he blew out his candle.

This afternoon the kids visited my mom at work, and she gave them each a little present and had a little cake for them. This evening my sister and her husband came over to bring his birthday presents, because he decided he didn't want to wait until his birthday party to get them. I can't say that I blame him. We have a really busy couple of weeks, and can't do his party until October 7th. So they came over and J. got to open his presents from them. Then P.'s parents came and took the kids out to dinner - J.'s choice. His choice? McDonald's...LOL! Nana thought he'd want to go to IHOP and get more pancakes, but his mind wasn't going to be changed.

While they were at dinner, P. and I went to buy him one of his birthday presents from us. J.'s birthday party is at a roller skating center, but he said he only wanted to have it there if he could skate on roller blades. That's what he learned on, and he wasn't happy a couple of weekends ago when he had to use the old fashioned roller skates at a friend's birthday party. He used to have blades, but has since outgrown them. So I decided I'd get him a pair of roller blades to give him on his birthday so that he'd have them for his party. When he got home, we gave him his present and was very happy. He had to try them on right away. He put one on, and tried it out, deciding that it fit perfectly.

I think he had a pretty good birthday. He's a happy little boy tonight.

Close to Burnout

OK, I'm blogging right now when I should be working on completing a paper that's due in about 38 minutes. I think the most challenging thing about this move and adjusting to a new routine has been my college requirement. There actually is a pretty good reason for it.

Back in October 2004 I made the decision to finally complete my Bachelor's Degree. I started college back in 1992 when I graduated high school, but quit after two years and got married. Notice I said I quit after two years AND got married...not TO get married. I made the decision to quit before my husband proposed. I was burned out on school then and decided that it was unfair to my parents. They were paying good money for me to attend an expensive school and by the second semester of my sophomore year, I was skipping as many classes as I could get away with skipping without failing my classes. I was doing the minimum that was required of me, and I had always been a much better student than that.

While P. was in Iraq, one of the nurses that I worked with introduced me to the University of Phoenix. She was working on her RN to BSN degree, and went on to complete the coursework required for her Master's. I think at this point she's waiting until she returns to the U.S. to finish the rest of her requirements, but I'm not positive. With her encouragement, I researched UOP and found a degree that suited me...the Bachelor's in Health Administration. I made the decision to start right then. I had put off completing my degree for so long, partially because of our lifestyle in the Army. How in the world was I supposed to complete my degree with our frequent moves and the concern of trying to transfer credits?? UOP seemed like the perfect fit. Plus, with it being all online, I was able to work within my time constraints, as long as I met the deadline requirements for assignments. This was amazingly simple while we were in Germany. I was a minimum of six hours ahead of the students I worked with on projects. As long as I had my assignments in by midnight my time (sometimes by midnight Phoenix time, depending on the instructor), I was able to stay ahead of the game. I was able to work on assignments while my teammates were working or still sleeping, and they were ready for submission long before the deadline.

Then we returned to the States. It's been more difficult than I realized to readjust to my new time zone for school purposes. After a year and a half, it's pretty hard to change my work habits for school. I'm doing ok, but not as well as I would like to, or as well as I was in Germany. I'm currently taking a Healthcare Ethics Class. Each class is five weeks long, and there is a lot of information packed into those five weeks. I take my classes back to back, and my previous class was Legal Issues in Health Care. Both of these classes are very interesting to me (believe it or not), but I'm about burned out with having to be on the computer all the time. Between my job and school, I feel like I'm chained to my laptop. Oh well...it could be worse. At least with the laptop I can work wherever and whenever I need to. I also only have six courses after this one and I'm finished with my Bachelor's. Then I have to decide whether to go ahead and finish my Master's. If I stop now, I don't know if or when I'll start back. But I'm really beginning to realize that I need a break. At least I will have completed the goal I set for myself so long ago. I think I need more time for myself and my family...to do the things we enjoy doing instead of always having to worry about a paper or other assignment that's due or meeting participation requirements.

Now I have about 20 minutes left. Time to stop procrastinating.

More Practice

Today we went to practice some more on the motorcycles. This is our last weekend before we take the safety course, so I really wanted to take the opportunity to get as much practice in as possible. P. was able to go with me today. We went over to meet my mom and her boyfriend at their place. Last weekend I practiced on the Honda they have. Since P. and I both were going, they decided to take the Honda and my mom's Sportster (which is a Harley-Davidson). She hadn't really ridden the Sportster before today. Since P. is so tall, the Honda was much too small for him to ride on...it's really even too small for me, and he's almost a foot taller.

So we went to meet my mom and her boyfriend, and they rode the two bikes over to the parking lot where we were practicing. My mom has her Motorcycle Permit, which means she can operate one on the road as long as she doesn't have a passenger. We followed them to try to make sure no other traffic got close to them. Mom still isn't comfortable riding in heavy traffic yet, which is certainly understandable. We made it over to our empty parking lot and got ready to ride. Since the plan was for P. to ride the Sportster since it's bigger than the Harley, my mom had to ride it first. It was only fair that she get the chance to ride her bike before anybody else. So she took it for a couple of trips around the parking lot. She looks really good on that bike...it's the perfect size for her. She said it definitely felt different from the Honda.

After my mom took the Sportster for a spin, P. got on it and I got on the Honda. V. (my mom's boyfriend) asked if I needed any sort of refresher, and I told him I thought I remembered from last weekend. I started it up, put it in gear, and took off. It felt so good to be able to ride around, knowing I remembered what he had taught me a week ago. I wasn't nearly as nervous as before. So I practiced for a while, and P. practiced on the Sportster. After a while I decided to take a break and drink some water and relax.

V. asked if I was taking a break, and asked my permission to ride the kids on the Honda. They were ready this week. Last weekend they wore shorts and sandals, and V. wouldn't let them ride because he told them they needed to be wearing long pants and good shoes. Today they made sure to put on long pants and their tennis shoes because "V. said we could ride." So I told him it was fine to ride them around the parking lot. When A. got on the back of that bike with him, though (she rode first), a part of me just wanted to yank her off of there and tell her she wasn't allowed to ride on the back of a bike until she was 30! She LOVED it! J. was next, and he loved it too. My only regret is that my camera wasn't working. I had it with me, and even had my memory card in it (unlike last weekend), but my battery was dead! GRRRR!

After V. rode the kids, P. brought the Sportster back over. My mom rode it around a couple more times, and V. wanted me to try it out. So I did. Oh. My. Goodness. When I started it up, I could just feel the power. Then when I took off on it, I was hooked for sure! It may sound crazy, since it's a bigger and heavier motorcycle, but it's actually easier to ride than the Honda. I felt much more stable. I can't explain it, really, but it's just so fun!!

P. was watching as I was riding my mom's Sportster this evening, and he told V. that I was actually almost too tall for that bike. Almost, but not quite. The motorcycle he bought me is a Sportster, but it's an older model (1981 - my mom's is a 2003), and it's bigger. I can't wait till he gets it fixed up and I can try it out.

OK, I know, I'm gushing! I can't help it. This is the first time I've really been this excited about anything for a while. I think one of the best things about this is that it's something that P. and I can enjoy together, and teach our kids to enjoy it too as they get older.

Book Purchase

Based on the recommendations of Sarah, Heidi, and others, I purchased the book The Blog of War by Matthew Currier Burden a couple of weeks ago. I got the package in the mail today. Maybe I'll actually have time to sit down and read it sometime soon. It's hard to find the time between work, kids, and school, to read things I want to read. I flipped through it a little bit this afternoon, though. It looks like it could easily be one of those books that once I pick it up and start reading, I won't be able to put it down.

Motorcycle Mama?

Before we left Germany, P. ordered a new Harley Davidson motorcycle. He's always wanted one, as long as I've known him. Many years ago he set up an escrow account that he'd been using to save up for a custom bike. Well, with Exchange New Car Sales overseas, he had the opportunity to get a brand new H-D at a great price. We had enough in the escrow account to pay half of it in cash, financing the rest. He ordered it there and had it delivered to the local Harley shop here.

Once he knew he was getting his, he then wanted me to have one to ride with him. He thought I would enjoy riding one of my own even more than I would riding on the back of his. I had my doubts, but the thought of it definitely appealed to me. I decided I at least wanted to go through the Motorcycle Safety Course with him. Well, when we got to the States, he found a great deal on a 1981 H-D Sportster and went ahead and bought it for me. It was obvious then that I was going to have to learn to ride. Once I had my own bike, I started to get a lot more excited about it.

My mom dates a guy who rides a Harley. They take every opportunity they can to take that bike out when the weather's nice. She has also caught the fever and decided she wanted to learn to ride herself too. Her boyfriend found a used Honda that would be perfect for her to learn on. It's smaller, of course, than a Harley, and lots lighter. He decided to use that one to teach both of us on. Also, my mom's taking the Motorcycle Safety Course with P. and myself.

Today I finally had the chance to go let Mom's boyfriend teach me how to ride. I had ridden on the back of a motorcycle a couple of times, but had never driven one. There's a large, open parking lot close by where he had been taking my mom to practice. I got on the bike and he explained how everything worked on it and then got on the back of it with me to coach me through riding. We practiced a bit like that until he was confident enough in my ability to start and stop it on my own. Then he let me ride it around by myself. Having another person on the back of the motorcycle makes things a lot different. Once I got over the initial nervousness of riding alone, I found it a lot easier. I just rode around and around that parking lot until I was so tired and sore that I couldn't ride any longer. I'll be lucky if I'm able to walk tomorrow! I'm a lot taller than my mom, and I think that bike is really too small for me. I can't wait till I get the chance to practice on one that fits me.

It was awesome, though. I can't wait until I have more practice and get my motorcycle endorsement after going through the course. Once I'm legal and get the confidence to get out on the road, I know I'll enjoy it even more. I'm really quite proud of myself though. Mom's boyfriend told me that he was really surprised at how quickly I picked it up. He said I was riding like I had ridden before. I'll have to share pictures once I find the cable for my camera.

Baby Girl

I posted a couple of weeks ago about A.'s first ballet and tap classes here. Last week I took a picture of her right before we left the house to go to dance. I just thought I'd share. Isn't she sweet?

Commercial

We were sitting here watching TV tonight when this commercial came on that just cracked us up. I didn't catch it the first time, so P. rewound it and paused it so I could see it. I LOVE my DVR!! Incidentally, it caught his attention because he heard the man speaking German...lol!

Anyway, it takes place in Germany and this guy, an American, is at a port receiving a shipment. The crate is being unloaded from the ship, and when they open the crate, it contains a 2006 Shelby GT 500. The man accepting the shipment is an American, and the Germany asks him couldn't he find a car he liked in Germany. The American says, "No, I couldn't find a speed limit in America that I liked." It cracked me up!

The funniest thing...

There's a disclaimer at the bottom of the screen during the scenes where the guy is driving the car at high speeds. It says "closed course...do not try" or something to that effect.

Are you kidding me?? I did that for five years in Germany...

In a minivan!!! LOL!!

I think I mentioned my new car in an earlier post. I have to set the cruise control all the time in the Volvo to keep from speeding. I found myself going over 70 in a 55 coming home from Bragg the other day, and I didn't even realize it.

Man I miss Europe...

Concert

OK, so while we were in Germany I got hooked on American Idol. It absolutely drove the husband crazy when it was on because I insisted on watching it, and he thought it was stupid. He could handle the last few weeks of it when it was more about the talent and less about the BS.

Season 4 was the first season when I caught the auditions at the beginning of the season. I saw Carrie Underwood audition and liked her from the very beginning. If I'd had the option to vote while we were overseas (couldn't because we usually saw the episodes the day after they aired here), I probably would have voted for her. I was very happy when she won that year. So of course I bought her CD when it came out. The kids love her too, and we usually have her CD in the car.

When I found out that she would be playing live at the County Fair here this year, I had to get tickets. I was kind of disappointed when I found out that she was playing on a school night, because I would have loved to have been able to take the kids to see her. Hopefully there will be another opportunity for them some time. P. wasn't able to go - he wasn't really crazy about the thought of the crowd - so I took my mom. She didn't know who she was, but enjoyed the concert anyway. She says she's going to have to go out and buy her CD now.

Our seats were pretty good. I was able to get halfway decent pictures from my seat. I was able to go down to the floor and get closer for a decent picture, and I'm including it here. I really enjoyed the show. There have been times when I go see someone I really like in concert and end up disappointed because they don't sound very good. I wasn't disappointed with Carrie tonight though. She sounded great, and she has some really good musicians. They even did a couple of old Guns 'N Roses songs. It's things like this that make me glad I'm back in the U.S.

Figured it Out

Yay! I got it to look right! I had to take out the slideshows I had in a couple of my posts. I guess next time I want to add a slideshow I'll have to resize my pictures first. I'm glad it turned out to be something fairly simple, because I really wanted to get it fixed tonight. I did manage to finish my paper first. Maybe one day I'll learn enough about HTML to make my own design. I doubt it, though. I'm not exactly the creative type.

Oh well, at any rate, now my page looks different. I thought with fall just around the corner this design would be appropriate.

Changes

Well, as you can see, I've changed my blog template. I've been messing with it all evening. I've found several templates that I like, but this is the only one that I have been able to come close to getting to look right. The only problem is my sidebar isn't up there where it's supposed to be. So I still have to figure that out. This is my first attempt at using a template that I have to do more to than copy and paste into the template field of Blogger, and then add my links and stuff back in. I think I need to learn more about HTML or something. I'll have to wait until I have more time before I do that though.

Right now I need to go write a paper for my current class...it's already late. I'm such a procrastinator!!

Always Remember...

I don't really know what I can say about this day. I've been thinking a lot about it over the last few days. August is a difficult month for me personally, and I suppose the first half of September will be that way for me for some time as well.

So, where was I on that day? We had arrived in Heidelberg, Germany just three weeks before. We had managed to move into housing, but had not gotten our household goods or my van yet. We had bought a little "hoopty" and were using that to get around. That week I was going through the week-long "Families Learning About Germany (FLAG)" course offered to family members of soldiers who had just moved there. It was a pretty good orientation. It introduced us to the culture and also taught us a little bit of the language. That particular day, they invited the soldiers to attend with us, and I can't remember why now. But P. was with me in FLAG that day. After the class was over, we went to the daycare center to pick up the kids and then went over to the Thrift Shop to see if there was anything we needed. I don't remember now what time it was when we got home, but it was just after the first plane hit and before the second one did.

We walked into the stairwell building and up the steps to our apartment. I picked up the Stars and Stripes off my doorstep and we walked in and I turned on the TV. I turned it to AFN Atlantic. Like most Americans in Germany apparently (at least those whose blogs have mentioned this day), I enjoyed watching the Today Show in the afternoons. When I flipped to that channel, though, Katie was in the middle of the report. I remember yelling at P. to come into the living room. Then the second plane hit. We just sat there glued to the TV. I can't describe how scared I was. I was living in this country I knew nothing about yet, didn't have any of my personal belongings (comfort items, you know - we were in a cracker-jack box of an apartment with Government furniture), and was an ocean away from my Mom and Dad. Looking back, it's really no wonder I was in such a depression that first year. P. got notification from his office that "Essential Personnel Only" were to come in, which at the time didn't include him. I was thankful. With the heightened security at all the gates, it would have been a nightmare for him to get to work. Yes, we lived on post, but in Heidelberg everything is so spread out, so he worked on a different Kaserne (post) than the one we lived on. Going to the PX after 9/11, which was on yet another Kaserne, was just a nightmare. We didn't venture out much the first week or so. Fortunately, we were on the same Kaserne as the Commissary.

After 9/11, while we still lived in Heidelberg, there was a bomb threat at one of the Shoppettes in one of the housing areas. Some woman who worked there was putting together this plot with her boyfriend. Fortunately, they were caught in time. That certainly didn't do anything to ease my fears.

I eventually overcame my fear and started getting out of the house and off the Kaserne, Little America as the locals liked to call it. We started traveling and enjoying Europe. I will never, forget, however, the lives that were lost that terrible day, or the sacrifices that have been made since. I can't believe it's been five years...

Routine

Since we moved I've had a really hard time getting into a routine. I don't think I really realized just how much I thrive on a routine until I lost mine. In Germany, I got up in the morning, took my shower, got the kids up and ready to go (P. was usually already gone to work by this time), and finished getting ready myself. We left the house and I got them to their daycare centers in time for breakfast. Then I would stop at the Shoppette on post for coffee on my way to work, and my work day started at 8 a.m. I stayed busy throughout the day, and usually took an hour to have lunch with hubby, and sometimes friends.

After work on Tuesdays and Thursdays P. would pick up the kids and I would go to spinning class with Aura at the gym. Every night after work, I would do school work since I'm trying to finish my degree. This is how my schedule was until our moving schedule made this routine impossible. Once we were down to one car, it was pretty much impossible for me to get away. I quit my job in Vilseck a couple of weeks before we moved, and was pretty much a woman of leisure for a few weeks. Sounds great, right?

Wrong. I love my new flexible schedule. I do the same job here that I did in Germany, but I'm now a contractor and work at home. It's awesome. I still put in the same number of hours a week, but have flexibility to do the things I need to do during the day. My problem is that sometimes I'm not strict enough on myself during business hours. I start my work day later than I would have otherwise, take longer lunches, or do other things during the day that I may not have been able to do before. So then I end up working later in the evenings or on the weekends. It actually works for me, though, since P. is working later these days.

Today, however, I got a phone call, and my company needs me to do more onsite at the hospital for the rest of this month. It's not a problem for me, except for the fact that I'm just starting to get into a workout schedule. Three days a week I had planned an hour in the morning for a fitness class, and two hours the other two days of the week. I had a sick kid this week, and I was feeling kind of blah a couple of days myself, so I had hoped to get more into the schedule starting next week. I guess I'll have to rearrange it and hope that P. will be able to help me out by being home early enough for the next couple of weeks for me to make it to later classes.

Oh well. I guess starting the first part of October I'll have to strive to be stricter with myself and to set and keep a pretty regular schedule. I work better that way. Things will get a bit easier when I finish my degree this coming spring, although I am debating whether or not to go ahead and finish my Master's. Oh well...I'll cross that bridge when I come to it I guess.

Awesome Weekend

This weekend was one of the best weekends I've had since we returned to the States. One of my best friends in Germany, M., moved to Texas back in the summer of 2004, and I missed her terribly. Her sister lives about an hour from where I live and she came to NC for Labor Day weekend. She called me Thursday evening and we made plans to get together for dinner Friday night with Christy. It had been just over two years since we had seen each other. My kids and her kids were always really good friends too, so they were really excited to see each other. We had a really good time at dinner Friday night, but didn't have as much time as we'd liked, so we made plans for later in the weekend. M.'s husband is in Iraq right now, and watching her girls with my husband reminded me so much of how my kids bonded with her husband while mine was in Iraq. They obviously miss their daddy, and I know they will all be so happy when he returns home in a few weeks.

Saturday my kids went to spend some time with their grandparents. M. called me Saturday evening and we made plans for her and the girls to come down Sunday afternoon. The kids were wanting more time to play together. So we decided that she would call me Sunday when they were ready to come down. This would also give my kids a chance to spend the night with their grandparents, as well as part of Sunday afternoon. They were excited about that. Sunday afternoon P. and I went to his parents' to have lunch with his parents and pick up the kids. M. called me as we were on the way home to let me know they were on their way. They got to my house and we just spent the rest of the afternoon and evening visiting. The kids had a great time playing together and watching movies. We ordered pizza and the kids had a pizza party and watched movies in their TV room. The grownups reminisced about the fun we had in Germany. I pulled out the scrapbooks toward the end of the visit and we looked at photos from trips we had taken together. M. and I traveled together quite a bit, and would have probably done more if they hadn't had to leave Europe when they did. Christy wasn't able to join us Sunday night because she and her hubby returned fairly late from a trip, so we made plans to get together for breakfast. When it came time for them to leave for the night, her girls really didn't want to go, nor did my kids want them to. When the four of them saw each other again, it was almost as if they had just seen each other yesterday.

This morning we decided to meet at IHOP for breakfast. The kids really liked that...well, all of us did. After breakfast we decided to go do some shopping and hit the mall. We spent a good part of the day shopping together. The kids got to go to the toy store and get a little something, and got to ride the carousel three times. We all had a great time and hated to have to say goodbye again. Hopefully we'll get together again before another two years go by.